I started dating this guy last february and for easter he invited me to his family’s house and . i really wanted to make a good impression he was like don’t worry they’ll love you the only thing . is that my mom is obsessed with her dog so make sure you’re nice to him i’m like of course i’m . gonna be nice to her dog i love dogs so we get to his house and the first thing we see is this loud . yapping chihuahua running towards us it’s like missing patches of hair and has this really bad . underbite but i was like oh what a cutie mom’s like isn’t he so cute that’s peter who names a . dog peter so we go to the kitchen and then all of a sudden peter starts vigorously humping my leg . his little pink wiener comes out the mom’s like oh he does that he keeps coming back and humping . it so i go to the bathroom and in my purse i have this little lavender perfume oil that i.
Rub all over my legs hoping that peter won’t like the smell of lavender i go back out we sit down . for dinner peter goes under the table and starts licking my legs for the entire dinner so finally . we go home but then his mom calls the next day and she’s crying because she had to take peter to the . vet because he was throwing up all night i felt so bad that dog ingested way too much lavender . oil and it’s definitely my fault but i don’t say anything peter ended up being fine he fully . recovered i never went back to his house because i was avoiding peter tiny horny chihuahua from hell. i’m not gonna get up here and bash her like everybody else but she need a lot . of psychological evaluations tell me about the worst date you’ve ever been on okay so i have . a few but this one really sticks in my brain so i met this guy on bumble and oh he looked.
Like a model on his profile and when he showed up he was five two i’m like nothing against . the shorties i just wasn’t prepared but i’m an open girl and so we’re chatting and he’s just . insulting me the whole time he goes wow you didn’t even get your nails done for me and i was like . huh then he decides to tell me hey just so you know the bottom half of your outfit is awesome . and the top half really sucks so i’m like okay i just got this drink let’s try to power through and . so i’m like hey so like what’s your passion in life like what do you live for hello like not a . normal day question but i was just like throwing caution to the wind and he goes skateboarding and . so i burst out laughing thinking it’s a joke and it was not a joke and so he gets offended and he . doubles down on the insults calling me ugly talking about all the much hotter girls he’s.
Been out with and he was like i’m about to go out with billy joel’s daughter and i was like okay . he’s like so who do you think you are and i was like you know you’re tiny right hey guys so here’s . a story time for one of the worst dates that i’ve been on and actually it was kind of scary . so this is before i knew how to do the whole online dating thing um i met this guy i was super . keen on him um we talked for like over a month every day that was like mistake number one but . anyways so talking all day every day texting each other sharing pictures talking on the phone every . night like we were totally smitten kittens for each other okay so finally he’s like you know what . i should book some um restaurant like i’ll make a reservation let’s meet i swear we’re gonna have a . great time blah blah blah okay great so i get all dolled up get ready to go i go to the restaurant.
And when i tell the waitress that i’m here to see soand-so they made a reservation she’s like . okay and i’m like wondering uhoh what’s going on already i knew something bad was you know coming . my way uh follow for part two okay you asked for it here’s part two of one of the worst dates . i’ve been on so i end up at the restaurant the waitress starts taking me to the back . there’s hardly anybody there but she’s taking me towards this older gentleman clearly older . than my father early 60s let’s say very large man bald as in missing hair so walking towards . him strong smell of body odor and i’m freaking out so she motions for me to take a seat and clearly . i don’t because i’m staring at this man that i don’t recognize and he says sally and i said adam . and he said yeah it’s me and i said you’re not adam and he’s like take a seat i’ll explain i was.
Like i’m not taking a seat and he said what do you mean you’re not taking a seat and i said you’re . not adam you misrepresented yourself i really feel uncomfortable right now and he’s like what . and i told him i don’t feel comfortable and he’s like you’re a superficial and at . that point i just walked away every time of when a guy asked me to venmo him back after our third . date this will probably need two parts i was but a naive young lady in my early twenties actually . got set up with this guy through a mutual friend this court chip if you will is why i also advise . never to get too drunk on the first date you will not know if you like them or if it’s the alcohol . speaking like did i make out with him after the first date yes would i have made out with a plant . yes anyway here are the two main things i didn’t like about him ironically both having to do with.
All of his money one he uh was a lawyer he pulled up to one of our dates in a limo and pointed out . what he could be making hourly if he wasn’t with me on a date two he never let me order he took . me to like bougie new york restaurants and then ordered bottles of wine i’m not splitting the . bill with you if you order an 85 bottle of wine without my consent that’s all you daddy warbucks . what a shock to me then when after the third date i ended things the first thing he asked . for was his money back is this pretty woman part two’s coming so this is why i have trust issues . this is a guy i met on tinder and at the beginning of the relationship he was like . take it take your time read it soak it all in yeah i’m not i can’t and then he has the audacity . to throw in a curveball a few months later and be like and the fact that we met through tinder and.
To me in the beginning i wasn’t like omfg i have to talk to this girl omfg girl of my dreams omfg . then why did you swipe right why did you double text me to get my attention on the app . and why did you date me no one forced you to date me like now you’re gonna be like oh i never even . thought you were cute but now we’re here what canceling tinder canceling men all together i’m . over it tell me about the worst date you’ve ever been out okay hold on i win this one before anyone . judges i just want to say my taste in people has gone up okay so we go to this super fancy . restaurant he asks me on the date so we go there and i am dressed to the nines stilettos a 200 . dress jewelry everything and he’s also dressed up too he drove 45 minutes to see me so i’m thinking . okay this guy’s really like he likes me i’m a picky eater i really like i just wanted a burger.
So my burger was 12. he ordered filet mignon some other fancy meats and coffee cappuccinos wine . he ordered everything and then the check came so i thought that he was going to you know maybe pick . it up because he asked me on the date but i did offer to pay my own he sat there like this wait . we’re not splitting it by the way i also ordered a water the bill was a hundred and fifty dollars . so i went on a date a few days ago and it was my second date with this girl and let me just say uh . the date could have gone a little bit better it started off with me taking her to this grilled . cheese place because i’m a little for some grilled cheese and after we’re done eating we’re . driving like an hour away so we can go watch the sunset on top of this really big hill and . that’s where everything starts to go south so i’m sitting there on top of the hill with her.
We’re watching the sunset and i’m about to go in and make my move but i start feeling sick but i . was still going now i was going in for a kiss and guess what i literally threw up on her she . doesn’t deal with sickness well so when she saw me throw up she threw up on me so here we are on top . of this hill both throwing up all this beautiful sunset is setting and then afterward we just . started laughing about it because it was so funny because we were both like cleaning up each other’s . throw up off of each other safe to say she’s a keeper yeah so it looks like it’s getting late we . should probably get going uh yeah sure i’ll i have stuff to do anyway you’re right all right so it . was really nice meeting you then i’ll talk to you soon yeah right so how do you want to say goodbye.
Goodbye like you mean like if you want to go in for a hug or something i mean that’s fine . with me like i don’t really kiss guys on the first date if that’s what you’re asking so. okay we can shake hands too that’s fine okay yeah whatever bye i’m leaving i promise you’re gonna . think i made this one up i’ll make it quick i feel like this is probably the strangest one . it’s a dinner date fine i guess this restaurant had like specialty margaritas . i don’t know whatever he asked if i wanted one . sure why not he orders a beer for himself and some sort of specialty margarita for me it comes . looks pretty good i take a sip while i’m still in midsip he pulls the margarita to the center of . the table doesn’t have a drink of it just leaves it there i go to have another sip he tells me.
I’m hogging it asks the waitress for another straw pops it in my drink and starts going to town on it. me being me is like oh sorry i thought you ordered that for me yes i did oh he tells me he wanted one . too but they were too pricey to have a second tell me about the worst date you’ve ever been on . okay so i’m on a date with this guy and the check comes so i got to pull my card out of my bag to . be like oh like let’s split it or whatever no this man says to me we have to get this itemized . because you drink more than me i drank one more beer than he did but yeah sure okay great sounds . good so the waitress comes and he asks for like another copy of the check or whatever . he calculates how much he owes how much io the tax whatever then he says oh the nachos . were fifteen dollars can you give me five dollars for the four tortilla chips you ate.
He counted how many tortilla chips i had so then i was like yeah okay so i gave him my card and i get . up to go to the bathroom um well i actually left and i actually gave him an expired visa gift card . so that’s how you don’t take somebody on a first date let’s just get right back into . it shall we let me tell you about a second date first date was fine uneventful things were good . a few days later he’s like hey do you want to come over i’d really like to prepare you dinner. all right the date sounds pretty selfexplanatory right not here definitely not me i don’t have . that kind of luck i get to his house right on time as soon as i get there he leads me . straight to the basement i you not about 20 minutes later his mother yells . to the basement we’ll use a fake name for the sake of the story jeremy dinner’s ready.
No dude invited me over for his mom to cook us dinner is this the seventh grade . the dinner felt like a job interview she just had so many questions one of them being what . are your intentions with my son actually to never call him again this is a reenactment . of a conversation i had on a facetime date that went terribly wrong how tall are you . i’m 5’4 that’s cool that’s cool how much you weigh are you serious you’re not supposed to . ask girls that ever i’m not going to tell you what like 180 200 it’s not that big of a deal. i probably weigh more than you wait let me let me look at your pictures. okay oh yeah so you’re you’re you’re pretty thick huh yeah is this like a recent picture or . how long ago was this have you have you gained any weight or in covid . uh yeah everybody has gained weight during coven well it’s all good at least you have a pretty face.
Story time so just when i thought dating couldn’t get any worse . surprise it did it went on this date it was like a facetime date the other night with . this guy and it was going okay at first it was a little bit awkward but it was fine pretty soon . into the date he asked me what my type was and i said well i don’t really have a type like you . know all my exes are pretty different which is true um and then i asked him what his type was. he looked me straight in the eyes and said to me. well normally i go for really strong motivated and independent women but they’re all pretty heartless . so i’m trying something different mick excuse me [ __ ] be honest with me what is the . real reason why you’re single right now simple it’s because people don’t respect your time . i literally just drove an hour away from my house to come see a girl that i’ve been talking to for.
A good like two weeks we’ve facetimed called texted a bunch we connect really well and i . drive out here to come see her after yesterday she she bailed on me yesterday because of work . and i come out tonight anyways and uh yeah nothing doesn’t say anything i drove an hour for nothing. tell me about the worst date you’ve ever been i have wanted to tell this story for years so . basically i met this guy at a grocery store i just moved to the bay area i only lived here for like . two weeks and we go and get drinks and you know our conversation’s good and then he starts to get . a little bit dark in his conversation but it made me feel bad for him about his personal experiences . then he offers oh let me take you around the area you didn’t know anything and so i was like sure . and i got into his car like an idiot and he starts driving me around and he goes oh we’re right by my.
Apartment you should come meet my roommate he thinks he’ll probably think you’re cool . and so we go into his apartment no one’s there then he walks me in his room and he goes ah . that’s weird and he’s just sits down on his bed he goes do you mind if i get naked and he gets . naked but i was naked in front of me and i was just standing there i was like oh my god and i . already had a game plan like my sister would call me pretend to be my boss i was a property manager . and she was going to say that the pipe burst on the building he gets naked and he goes do you ever . just hate life i’ve done so many drugs and he’s sitting there naked listening to tycho and . i can never listen to that song to this day but my sister called me and saved the day so it was cool . i know right oh my god hey welcome to the restaurant i’m steven you guys ready to.
Order it took you long enough to come over here it took your ass long enough to come over here . order whatever you want jazz order whatever you want i’m gonna have the salmon okay the salmon . okay i apologize for that sir what can i get you man give me the steak medium and another . drink and hurry up too thank you so much thank you thank you guys i’ll have it right out i apologize . why are you talking to our server like that what do you mean why am i talking to him like that . i’m paying money ain’t i he need to give me better service up here steven hey hi yes how . can i help you what can i get from you yeah you know what i don’t like disrespect do you like it . i i hate it you know what cancer disrespect i’m being disrespected my appetite for him okay he’s . very disrespectful you so much for saying let me know oh hell no tell me about the worst date.
You’ve ever been on i will never ever date a preacher’s kid ever again after this we met . through mutual friends and he asked me to go get dinner and drinks and i was like okay cool because . you know i met you through friends so obviously you’re not a total sociopath we were gonna meet . up with friends after so we decided to pregame at my apartment and then have friends come over . well within the 20 minutes we’re at my apartment waiting for our friends he decided to . down an entire bottle of cheetos to himself proceeded to tell me that i have let him on . that i’m a tease i’m the c word and as i’m telling him that he’s making me uncomfortable and he needs . to leave he tries to choke me so i run to my neighbors get my neighbor to help me get him out . and when we go back to my apartment we realize that this man urinated all over my.
Bathroom. worst date you’ve ever been how about three bad dates but all on the same day let’s start . with girl a after a quick little hike i soon found myself at a sushi restaurant where all . the little strange sea creatures were going around on a conveyor belt and of course me trying to show . off i grabbed all the weirdest ones i could find at a mediocre time and went on to go see girl b i . don’t know why i’m telling this i went to some nighttime light festival parade with this girl . then she invited me over to what was actually her grandparents house where she was how sick turns . out that raw sushi that goes around on a conveyor belt really can make you sick and it did i held up . in her grandpa’s recliner where i just closed my eyes and wish that it was all going to go away she.
Slept in the bed i slept in the chair and morning came my stomach was feeling a little bit better . but then i put my pants all of it was foam so here i am in some strange girl’s grandparents house who . also don’t know that i’m there and i just crapped myself on their couch not knowing what to do i . went to the bathroom i thought about flushing my boxers down the toilet thought about throwing them . out the window thought about putting them in the garbage but i just wadded them up ended up hiding . him in the trunk of my car where my sister found him crusted up a few months part two of the date . night so he picks me up and tells me we’re going to olive garden great he made the choice so we get . to this restaurant and when i tell you he talks about himself i mean literally i don’t even think.
I said five words other than that’s cool he tells me how he’s writing an autobiography about himself . it literally seems like he’s interviewing for a job that i’m not going to give him so he suggests . to go to a movie and that’s when i say oh no i’m so sorry i have to write an essay i forgot it was . due tonight he proceeds to pay and when i say he proceeds to pay he pays with a gift card that he . said he the only reason he chose olive garden was because he had a gift card okay that’s fine . but what would have happened if i chose the date spot whatever so he proceeds to take me home he . tries to go in for the kiss and i totally dodged that because i am just not feeling it so we say . our goodbyes i go back upstairs i have this box of chocolates and i was like you know what at least i.
Have this chocolate i opened the box of chocolates and i kid you not this man had already eaten half . the box of chocolates so now i’m left with a terrible date and half box chocolates yeah tell . me about the worst date you’ve ever been on okay so two years ago i matched with this guy on tinder . and we met for like late lunch early dinner in my college town because i didn’t have a car so he . shows up to pick me up and he’s wearing a crappy tshirt cargo shorts and flip-flops i’m like this . is a red flag like you don’t wear that to a date so we go to the diner i choose to sit in a booth . and he goes to sit next to me like no sit across from me bro okay so then he treats this date like . an interview all he did was fire questions at me and i never got to like ask him about himself.
Or like have a normal conversation i was like this is so stupid so then i’m wearing like a . cute outfit he’s like let’s go explore the woods i’m like i’m wearing my shoes like i don’t want . to do that and he’s like oh no it’ll be really fun like be adventurous biggest waste of an afternoon . i’ve ever had a finger down if you moved into your apartment building and your new neighbor . is hitting on you but you’re playing hard to get and finally you decide i’m gonna invite him over . so he comes over for dinner and you’re cooking having a good time a couple glasses of wine . you move to the couch you’re watching netflix and out of nowhere he dives across the room so you . also dive across the room because you’re like what is going on so you’re laying on the ground and you . look at the window and there’s a girl watching you sitting in your window who then proceeds to come.
In the apartment building knowing the apartment building code banes on your apartment door and . you ask who is that and he proceeds to say my exgirlfriend but then you continue hanging . out because you know what why not and he tells you that he is a felon and has been on parole. tell me about the worst date you’ve ever been out all right tik tok so this was a little over . a year i went on a date with this kid and the date was fine until towards the end of . the night when he had to drop me off back to my car i believe that day was friday the 13th . and i had to remember that it was pouring rain so i kid you not we were on the street . of his apartment complex and out of nowhere he starts driving 50 miles per hour down that road . mind you it was pouring rain so he went to go break and basically he didn’t break in time.
And in my head i’m like yo is this kid gonna stop because we were approaching a brick wall . long story short he didn’t break in time he swerved on my side and my dumb ass was . not wearing a seatbelt so my body literally felt like it got thrown he hit this wall so hard that . his car parts were stuck to the wall and this man had lost his front tooth from the accident . and my face was just gushing blood got on the story for you went on a date with this girl and we . ended up at waffle house we ordered our food we’re sitting there waiting on it having a good time . we have amazing chemistry this girl’s so nice this was like straight out of key and peel the . episode with the girlfriend of the boyfriend they bring her the wrong food right and when i get the . wrong food i just eat it like i don’t have the heart to tell people like hey you got this wrong.
She goes excuse me excuse me this this is not mine i don’t want this and i’m like . um what she starts arguing with this waitress i’m like this girl this girl’s just trying to . do her job like she’s just trying to go home and have a good day she gets her right food . back and is like the most like the meanest [ __ ] thing after that to the waitress not to me . we had a good talk after that but i never saw her again for good reasons because . anyone who treats a waitress like that does not deserve to date anyone honestly . what is the worst thing somebody ever said to you after your parent died i’ll go first i was . on a date and the guy asked me about my parents and so i told him about my dad and he goes well . what about your mom and i said my mom actually passed away a couple years ago unfortunately he.
Goes oh my god i’m so sorry but you know that’s probably actually made you a lot stronger right . and you know me being the badass i am trying to take ownership of my feelings . i said it has but just so you know that’s not the best thing to say to someone who’s lost a . person in their life and his response was well you know i guess i tried and i i up again. not about you sir not about you tell me about the worst date you’ve ever been on . you took me to an italian restaurant and while i was grabbing for the bread . he started grabbing my wrist and started biting my cartier watch asking me if it was real . what okay story time of the worst day i’ve ever been on we had agreed to meet at a mexican . restaurant i was parking so i was like riding five minutes late texted him he said no big deal.
I already ordered margarita the date actually started out pretty normal um you know just . normal conversation i had just gotten a new car and he had already followed me on social media . so he asked me who bought it for me very honestly i answered my dad and i was really . grateful for it he then started calling me a spoiled brat over and over and over again . being very rude to me and then told me that his dad never bought him a car i again stated that i . was very grateful for it when the waitress came around and asked us if she can get us anything . else he replied some better company i don’t know why i stayed but i did and i tried to . switch the conversation by talking about a mutual friend of ours he then told me not to talk about . things i don’t know tell me about the worst date you’ve ever been on so about two months ago this.
Guy i was talking to from bumble and i met up for coffee in a nice cafe when it came time to pay for . the drinks he stepped forward and paid for them no problem then we went outside we were walking and . he became really uncomfortable once he knew that i was a social worker he thought that he was going . to catch covert from me so he stood literally so far away from me that he was walking on the street . there was a line of trees dividing us that’s how far away from he was and then he stops and turns . to me and says you know i really wasn’t expecting to pay for both of our drinks and then laid into . me about how inconsiderate it was that i ordered a five dollar latte so then we literally stopped . on the side of the road so i could etransfer him five dollars back because he asked me to pay him.
Back for the drink that he had bought me at the beginning of the date so i sent him six dollars . i gave him a tip um because it really seemed like he needed it he was really struggling apparently . ladies what’s the worst day you’ve ever been on i’ll go first i got to the restaurant and he was . 20 minutes late i tried to text no response and crucial this restaurant was a restaurant that he . picked out and it was slightly pricey when he did arrive his body was like slathered in oil i don’t . know he looked hella greasy anyways he also lied about his height he said he was 510 but he was . only five six if you’re gonna lie very high make it realistic not that hype really matters uh so . we had a pretty great conversation and he finished his food all of his food and asked for the waiter.
For the check the waiter brings the check over and when the waiter came over he was like uh . let me send this back i was like said what back you finished all your food i was looking at . a waiter like this and he was looking at me like this we were both so confused the waiter was like . was the food bad and he was like no no i just want to send him back i’ve never experienced so much . secondhand embarrassment all men do is have the audacity okay these are three texts you can send . when you don’t want to see someone again choose your own adventure this one i call the truth . it was great meeting you last night i really enjoyed our conversation but for whatever . reason i just don’t feel a romantic connection wishing you all the best . short sweet to the point and if you’re an empath like me sometimes you feel like you need to give.